What type of Girl are you?
This post is specially requested by and dedicated to Rachel. Haha...
***
Some men say girls are complicated creatures. I beg to differ. In my attempt to differentiate the girls into different "types", I realise that the majority of the girls (around 80%) fall in either one of the following two categories: Sporty Bimboes or Average Jane. Of course there are other types of girls but they only make up about 20% of the entire female population, and they are the ones who give me a hard time because it's difficult to write about them given the smaller sample size available for observations to be taken.
Sporty Bimboes (40%):
Have you realise that girls from any sports CCA tend to be bimbotic? They are the ones who would put on those big and thick plastic hairbands, wear cutesy earrings (if not those big ear studs of bright colours and regular shapes like square and triangle), carry bags that scream "I am the spokesperson for Bimbotism", e.g. white Adidas bags with pink or brown sides, or some random PVC bags that is dyed with loud, gaudy colours with a meaningless logo emblazoned on it that only these bimboes will find meaning in it. And it's not your usual 乖乖 "backpack-bag" -- it's an enlarged version of a "briefcase" modified accordingly to suit female users which users (ost of the time bimboes) would insist on slinging the bag onto their shoulder to carry it like a tai-tai handbag.
Bimbo!
And somehow, the term "bimbo" seems to be synonomous with "sporty girls". You don't see a nerdy bimbo. It's morally wrong. I guess usually sporty girls are bimboes because they need to nullify the masculine image they present on the arena so that they can still remain attractive to boys, or just simply to remind the boys that they are girls -- girls who yearn for protection from boys and girls who are, in real life, not their aggressive and competitive self like when they are on the arena.
I mean, they just wouldn't want to turn off boys by constantly presenting themselves in a sweaty, unglam manner with flushed face and unkempt hairdo while screaming "杀" or something equally aggressive. They need to doll up themselves when they are off the training grounds -- afterall girls still need boys in some way.
Of course, there are some bimboes who are not at all sporty. But they remain as isolated cases. The way mechanisms work in the female human being still fascinates and intrigues me.
Another observation: bimboes tend to be very flirty. They allow boys (usually the alpha-males, whom I will elaborate more in my upcoming entry) to poke fun at them for any reasons, or to poke at them literally. (Think of the "Poke" function in Facebook, and yeah, you know what I mean) They just love contact with boys, be in verbal or physical. Some just allow boys to tickle them, pinch their cheeks or to "massage" them. On the surface it seems like a massage, but you really never know what the organ beneath the "massager's" clothing is reacting. If you watch "Survivor: China", you would get what I mean. Just think of the scene when Frosti massaged Courtney.
In short, bimboes:
1. Views image and presentation of themselves seriously
2. Have good fashion sense
3. Enjoys boys' companion
Average Jane (40%):
For girls, you either know how to dress or you don't. Bimboes know exactly how to dress up; Average Janes are walking illustrations of "fashion disaster". They don't apply blush, mascara or eyeliner. Yet, they insist on showing their flabby arms that pendulate whenever they wave excitedly at their friend across the street. Or their favourite bottom would be a tight-fitting jeans fading in colour which further exaggerate the curves on their thighs and bums. Or maybe they just wear the same white-coloured T-shirt from Giordano each time she attends your class outing.
In short, fashion is non-existent in their world. Most of the time, they just cannot be bothered.
As how some quip in Chinese: " 世上没有丑女人，只有懒女人。", which means no woman is ugly, but there are certainly lazy ones in English.
Character-wise, Average Janes are really average. They are pretty boring. They aren't those who have the gift of gab, or those who excel in sports. they don't necessarily suck at everything, but they certainly don't ace in anything.
In short:
Average Janes are really boring people. You would not particularly detest their presence, but you certainly would not miss hanging out with them. And they tend to have horrendous fashion sense, most of the time due to their nonchalant attitude towards self-grooming.
P.S. Actually if Average Janes spend a little effort on grooming, many of them actually look pretty and will get boys talking about them. =)
Bitches/Gossip-mongers(15%):
'Nuff said. Bitches are bitches. They can bitch at you for almost anything that happen. Even a falling leaf can be a source for her bitchiness. They are especially hostile towards strangers, and will tend to launch WMDs (Words of Mass Destruction) at unsuspecting stranger who invades into her social circle.
Or they can "tsk" at you for the slightest reason possible. Even praising her nicely-decorated file is sufficient to exchange for a "tsk". I was a victim before, so the moral of the story: It doesn't pay to be nice to a bitch. Just let her die in pain when you see one being knocked down by a car.
You can never satisfy a bitch. Bitches can complain about the slightest error they can possible find. Like how the food is too sweet, too salty or too oily. Or how the temperature in the bus is not optimum. Or how the singer is singing that note half an octave too low. Or how that boy's abs are not defined enough. The list goes on.
Usually bitches are gossip-mongers, though seldom is the other way round. Bitches LOVE to badmouth people and to spin incredibly authentic stories intended to damage ones' reputation. Their source of creative juices never run dry -- they can come up with new "stories" every second just to annoy those they dislike.
On the other hand, gossip-mongers can be nice fellas. They just love to spread the latest rumour that their eardrum had picked up without questioning the authenticity of the news. They are just stupid by nature, blindly follow others to spread news, but they certainly don't stand to gain or feel good from spreading.
Loud Lians(4%):
Loud Lians are not necessarily Ah Lians. The only way to differentiate them is through their spoken language -- Ah Lians speak boorishly, with an excessive and liberal use of profanity, while Loud Lians just speak loudly. Loud Lians are unglam girls, but unlike your Average Jane, Loud Lians just don't understand how to BEHAVE decently while Average Janes cannot be bothered to GROOM themselves properly.
Loud Lians laugh loudly, talk loudly, badmouth loudly, whether they are in a posh Chinese restaurant or at the library mugging with their friends, or worse still, when the person under her words of attack is sitting behind her on the bus.
In Chinese, Loud Lians are 大喇喇，meaning they are just unaware of how embarassing their behaviour can be or can bring to their friends.
Sometimes, they even sit with their legs wide open, or put one of their legs on the chair despite wearing a skirt. I've seen a lot of such girls in Hwa Chong sitting in such manner and boy! They sure do not look sexy at all; rather they just turn me off depsite the fact that they reveal all clothing beneath the skirt to me (maybe because being an Aquarius man, I prefer girls to present themselves in a glamourous way)
The Perfect Ones (1%):
They are immaculate. Perfect facial features, perfect head:body ratio, perfect figure, intelligent yet not overbearing or snobbish, sporty yet not overly aggressive, easy-going, allow their boys to choose DOTA over talking to her on the phone, do not complain when poor boys like us wants to go Dutch for dinner,... and the list goes on.
The bottom line is: they are what we boys want, they have the qualities that we boys are looking for. Unfortunately, they are rare, making up only 1% of the entire female population. Like those endangered giant pandas in China.
*****
So, which girl are you? =) Post your comments, rebuttals or agreeance on my tagboard.
***
Some men say girls are complicated creatures. I beg to differ. In my attempt to differentiate the girls into different "types", I realise that the majority of the girls (around 80%) fall in either one of the following two categories: Sporty Bimboes or Average Jane. Of course there are other types of girls but they only make up about 20% of the entire female population, and they are the ones who give me a hard time because it's difficult to write about them given the smaller sample size available for observations to be taken.
Sporty Bimboes (40%):
Have you realise that girls from any sports CCA tend to be bimbotic? They are the ones who would put on those big and thick plastic hairbands, wear cutesy earrings (if not those big ear studs of bright colours and regular shapes like square and triangle), carry bags that scream "I am the spokesperson for Bimbotism", e.g. white Adidas bags with pink or brown sides, or some random PVC bags that is dyed with loud, gaudy colours with a meaningless logo emblazoned on it that only these bimboes will find meaning in it. And it's not your usual 乖乖 "backpack-bag" -- it's an enlarged version of a "briefcase" modified accordingly to suit female users which users (ost of the time bimboes) would insist on slinging the bag onto their shoulder to carry it like a tai-tai handbag.
Bimbo!
And somehow, the term "bimbo" seems to be synonomous with "sporty girls". You don't see a nerdy bimbo. It's morally wrong. I guess usually sporty girls are bimboes because they need to nullify the masculine image they present on the arena so that they can still remain attractive to boys, or just simply to remind the boys that they are girls -- girls who yearn for protection from boys and girls who are, in real life, not their aggressive and competitive self like when they are on the arena.
I mean, they just wouldn't want to turn off boys by constantly presenting themselves in a sweaty, unglam manner with flushed face and unkempt hairdo while screaming "杀" or something equally aggressive. They need to doll up themselves when they are off the training grounds -- afterall girls still need boys in some way.
Of course, there are some bimboes who are not at all sporty. But they remain as isolated cases. The way mechanisms work in the female human being still fascinates and intrigues me.
Another observation: bimboes tend to be very flirty. They allow boys (usually the alpha-males, whom I will elaborate more in my upcoming entry) to poke fun at them for any reasons, or to poke at them literally. (Think of the "Poke" function in Facebook, and yeah, you know what I mean) They just love contact with boys, be in verbal or physical. Some just allow boys to tickle them, pinch their cheeks or to "massage" them. On the surface it seems like a massage, but you really never know what the organ beneath the "massager's" clothing is reacting. If you watch "Survivor: China", you would get what I mean. Just think of the scene when Frosti massaged Courtney.
In short, bimboes:
1. Views image and presentation of themselves seriously
2. Have good fashion sense
3. Enjoys boys' companion
Average Jane (40%):
For girls, you either know how to dress or you don't. Bimboes know exactly how to dress up; Average Janes are walking illustrations of "fashion disaster". They don't apply blush, mascara or eyeliner. Yet, they insist on showing their flabby arms that pendulate whenever they wave excitedly at their friend across the street. Or their favourite bottom would be a tight-fitting jeans fading in colour which further exaggerate the curves on their thighs and bums. Or maybe they just wear the same white-coloured T-shirt from Giordano each time she attends your class outing.
In short, fashion is non-existent in their world. Most of the time, they just cannot be bothered.
As how some quip in Chinese: " 世上没有丑女人，只有懒女人。", which means no woman is ugly, but there are certainly lazy ones in English.
Character-wise, Average Janes are really average. They are pretty boring. They aren't those who have the gift of gab, or those who excel in sports. they don't necessarily suck at everything, but they certainly don't ace in anything.
In short:
Average Janes are really boring people. You would not particularly detest their presence, but you certainly would not miss hanging out with them. And they tend to have horrendous fashion sense, most of the time due to their nonchalant attitude towards self-grooming.
P.S. Actually if Average Janes spend a little effort on grooming, many of them actually look pretty and will get boys talking about them. =)
Bitches/Gossip-mongers(15%):
'Nuff said. Bitches are bitches. They can bitch at you for almost anything that happen. Even a falling leaf can be a source for her bitchiness. They are especially hostile towards strangers, and will tend to launch WMDs (Words of Mass Destruction) at unsuspecting stranger who invades into her social circle.
Or they can "tsk" at you for the slightest reason possible. Even praising her nicely-decorated file is sufficient to exchange for a "tsk". I was a victim before, so the moral of the story: It doesn't pay to be nice to a bitch. Just let her die in pain when you see one being knocked down by a car.
You can never satisfy a bitch. Bitches can complain about the slightest error they can possible find. Like how the food is too sweet, too salty or too oily. Or how the temperature in the bus is not optimum. Or how the singer is singing that note half an octave too low. Or how that boy's abs are not defined enough. The list goes on.
Usually bitches are gossip-mongers, though seldom is the other way round. Bitches LOVE to badmouth people and to spin incredibly authentic stories intended to damage ones' reputation. Their source of creative juices never run dry -- they can come up with new "stories" every second just to annoy those they dislike.
On the other hand, gossip-mongers can be nice fellas. They just love to spread the latest rumour that their eardrum had picked up without questioning the authenticity of the news. They are just stupid by nature, blindly follow others to spread news, but they certainly don't stand to gain or feel good from spreading.
Loud Lians(4%):
Loud Lians are not necessarily Ah Lians. The only way to differentiate them is through their spoken language -- Ah Lians speak boorishly, with an excessive and liberal use of profanity, while Loud Lians just speak loudly. Loud Lians are unglam girls, but unlike your Average Jane, Loud Lians just don't understand how to BEHAVE decently while Average Janes cannot be bothered to GROOM themselves properly.
Loud Lians laugh loudly, talk loudly, badmouth loudly, whether they are in a posh Chinese restaurant or at the library mugging with their friends, or worse still, when the person under her words of attack is sitting behind her on the bus.
In Chinese, Loud Lians are 大喇喇，meaning they are just unaware of how embarassing their behaviour can be or can bring to their friends.
Sometimes, they even sit with their legs wide open, or put one of their legs on the chair despite wearing a skirt. I've seen a lot of such girls in Hwa Chong sitting in such manner and boy! They sure do not look sexy at all; rather they just turn me off depsite the fact that they reveal all clothing beneath the skirt to me (maybe because being an Aquarius man, I prefer girls to present themselves in a glamourous way)
The Perfect Ones (1%):
They are immaculate. Perfect facial features, perfect head:body ratio, perfect figure, intelligent yet not overbearing or snobbish, sporty yet not overly aggressive, easy-going, allow their boys to choose DOTA over talking to her on the phone, do not complain when poor boys like us wants to go Dutch for dinner,... and the list goes on.
The bottom line is: they are what we boys want, they have the qualities that we boys are looking for. Unfortunately, they are rare, making up only 1% of the entire female population. Like those endangered giant pandas in China.
*****
So, which girl are you? =) Post your comments, rebuttals or agreeance on my tagboard.
小权纯裕郎 自作自秀@at
9:10 pm
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