似曾相识

看见我的学弟学妹们，我看见了过去的我。

高中一年级的第一个学期（俗称“前三个月”英：First Three Months），我们是如此的放纵、猖狂、无忧无虑（其实这期间老师们也不间断地用作业与测验对我们进行疲劳轰炸，但是我们却不把这些当作一回事）。

我们曾经幼稚过，干下一些不符合实际年龄的事情。

但是到最后，我们的稚气被那排山倒海而来的作业与考试给磨钝了，剩下的世故、疲倦与对任何事情的“无所谓”态度。

或许，我们不该在那三个月里把所有的精力给花掉用完。

When I see people like Clement and Douglas, both from my junior class, I thought thta i saw myself. Their lameness, radicality and quirk sense of humour shares resemblance to my personality during the first three months when I was in J1. They flirted with boys AND girls, acted spastic in front of people and the camera, and had sharp wit -- all these I've done before when I was their age.

They are now like a reflection of myself. Surprisingly and narcistically, their persoanlities appealed to me. I appreciate their sense of humour and wit, cooed at their flirtings and spastic actions, and teased at all those "unnatural" positions they've posed in front of the camera.

Maybe all these are just my illusions. Perhaps all these are just derived because I yearn to re-live and re-experience the first three months again.

I don't deny. How I wish time goes backwards for me.

The days when we are truly "carefree"... how I wish to live it again.

And it especially hurts me to see how my juniors are experiencing the most wonderful time of their student life while I am outcasted in my own world of tutorials, lecture notes and graph-plotting.

I am jealous. Yes, I had my turn, so it's theirs now. But I still want more.

But I can't.