2381

Of course I got the red light from the judges. What do you expect from a 16 year-old geek who has a demonic voice that resembles a frog with a wicked sore throat?

Like I told my mother, “如果我能够进入下一关，那就意味着新加坡的娱乐界开始在走下坡”

还好，又或者不幸的是，新加坡的娱乐事业还没有萎缩，仍然还处在蓬勃兴盛的阶段中。

所以，我被淘汰了。

由于我一开始就抱着一种“来玩玩”，“来凑热闹”的心态来参加这个比赛，得失心并没有抱得很重，所以在众目睽睽之下被无情地，残酷地“Teh!"出局，我并没有伤心或者失望。

反而，我有种终于能够将心中那块不知名的大石放下来的奇怪感觉。

For some reasons that I do not know best, I heaved a sigh of relief the moment the judges announced that I am not good enough to proceed on further in this competition.

The night before my audition, I felt worried and nervous, despite the fact that I knw that my chances of moving on is slim. I was torn between to chicken out from this competition and to carry on with it. One major factor that had played a part in discouraging me was the queueing part.

On Saturday, I spent more than 4 hours queueing up, all alone, surrounded by students from other schools who came together in groups, packs, clusters and bevy. And throughout most of the 4 hours, I had to queue up in standing position. It was awkward and inappropriate for me to sit down because the persons in front and behind me are all of the opposite gender. If I were to sit down, I may be accused of misbehaviours that I won't never ever have the guts to commit in my entire life. As a result, my back was sore and to make things worse, I was told by the person-in-charge, who was handing out queue numbers to all Campus Superstar-wannabes, that my slot is scheduled on the next day.

I was one person away from Saturday's slot. Which means that the person before me in the line got to audition on Saturday, while I have to come back the next day.

At that point of time, I was -> <- this close to withdrawing myself from the contest.

Another reason that led me to reconsider my decision of participating in this contest was my anxiety. I was so afraid of singing in front of more than 200 strangers who may not have the manners to cheer for you.

You would probably received jeers, smirks and giggles. And I hate all of them. It's probably a guy's thing, as we all have this lionised image to live up to. It's in our biology.

I don't know how and where did I manage to muster all the courage that I need to persuade myself to carry on with the competition.

Of course, when you are in bad luck, unlucky events will come in a row. To my horror, I discovered that I am the first person to sing on stage for Saturday's slot.

Well, given my capability, it's not that the outcome would be different had I not been scheduled to sing first.

But being the first, it means that you would received the most attention from everyone present. And no matter how thick-skinned you are, you would still feel the pressure and embarrassment should you perform badly.

To say that I wasn't nervous on stage, my nose would have grown longer, just like what had happened to Pinocchio.

I sang 2 lines, which lasted approximately 15 seconds or so, before the red light was given to me.

It only took 15 seconds and a redlight for the judgement, that all the queueing up and anxiety and the minimal preparation that I had made for this contest had all come to naught, to be made.

It was cruel. But I didn't take it to heart. Afterall, I am not here to win. I am here to enjoy.

But many others may not perceived it this way. I had a short chat with some others in queue and eavesdropped other people's conversation, and I can conclude that they all seemed determined to win this.

For a moment, I felt so guilty and weak. Guilty because I took up one spot in the queue, denying those who are really out to winthis a chance to perform; weak because everyone seemed to be determined whereas I am not even taking this seriously.

Anyway, it was a truly incredible and amazing experience. I would recommend that each and every one of us should participate in such contest once in their lifetime. At least once, and once and only once.

At least go through what had our Superstars and Singapore Idols had been through before they achieved what they had now achieved.

It would be fun.

P.S. 2381 is my registration number.